Today Florida Man brings you news from around a big hunk of the country. I’m featuring headlines from the Odessa American, the New York Times, the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel and the most reliable news source, The Onion.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to figure out which headline goes with which paper. Results will be announced sometime. The winner will receive something.
Here we go.
“Therapists learn better way to aid farmers.”
“Stifling temperatures sending many to hospitals.”
“Why do kids have tonsil trouble?”
“On tape Nixon says penalties didn’t fit crime for marijuana.”
“Both Trump, Harris against life, Pope says.”
“Investigator gave up too soon, experts say.”
“Lloyd Kaufman studied why the moon looks bigger on the horizon.”
“Extreme stress over parenting brings warning.”
“I was adopted from China as a baby and I’m still coming to terms with that.”
“Ohioan disturbed by reports of Haitians eating vegetables.”
“Trump heard about a gang takeover; it became central to his campaign.”
“Gillian Anderson wants women to pursue pleasure first.”
“Lady Wranglers win two on first day of Sheila Worsley tournament.”
“At a West Texas church the Lord’s work is helping the poor.”
I assure you all these headlines are real though they all could have come from The Onion.
