Florida Man is old and I know it because waitresses, store clerks and even strangers are calling me honey and sweetheart and sir offering to help me with whatever I’m carrying.
Since I don’t feel like I’m old it’s hard to accept that the way I look or walk or hold my body is obvious to many people.
At least they don’t yet say, “Do you need help with that old man.”
With that in mind, I put together a list of terms people use for us olders.
Stodgy is one. It doesn’t really mean old, it means dull, uninteresting and boring. A lot of people, including some of us, can be dreary under that definition, but not necessarily old.
Spry is one of my favorites. “Hey, you’re pretty spry for your age old man.” I guess it’s supposed to be a complement but misses the mark. It also could be used to describe anyone who is active and energetic.
How about “old fart.” There is really nothing to be said about it except that it can be rather endearingly self deprecating.
I won’t go on in detail but there are more words: senior, grumpy, oldster, geezer, golden ager, pensioner, old bag, dinosaur and old timer.
My favorite among those is “old timer.”
Every western movie and TV show has an “old timer.” He always has scraggly grey beard and wears a floppy hat with holes in it and bib overalls.
Ah, but the old timers are wise. They help the hero with their deep knowledge of the old west. They’ll lead you to the local water hole, to Doc Holiday’s dental office and the saloon where they hit you up for a shot of rotgut and then they cook you up a mess of beans
In short, old timers are us. We are wise, we know the best water hole, the best whiskey and we can still cook up a mess of anything.
