By Van Yandell
James 5:16b “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
Many of the conversations at our house begin with “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.” To write an article on undivided attention will get a rolling of the eyes from wife Margie.
My dad told me “When engaged in a conversation, look at the person talking.” My mistake was telling Margie that. Whatever my dad said was okay with her.
If we stare off into space or look at our phones, our lack of attention is certainly noticed.
To interrupt during a conversation is rude and thoughtless. Apparently some have no idea what their action is conveying. The attitude of “I don’t care what you think” or “just listen to me” is obvious.
There are people with whom even an attempt at a conversation is close to impossible. If faced with such a curse, one might consider saying very little knowing that he will not be allowed to finish a sentence.
Recently seen was a statement on coping with interrupters. The statement read, “Ignore them and keep on talking.” I’m not promoting that action but it might work with some. Personally, I prefer to walk away or pick up my phone. But does rudeness deserve rudeness?
It is not a conversation if only one person is talking. Conversations and interactions involve at least two people. Respect is a characteristic many do not exemplify. However this insincere action is one most are not aware of displaying.
Perhaps we have all been guilty at some point in time but being aware of such actions may keep us from doing such so often. James 1:19 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” One might think rudeness in Bible times may not have existed as it does today. Apparently based on this verse from James, that was not the case.
Bryant H. McGill, author, said “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” It is a conscious effort to listen and not be thinking of what “I’m going to say next.” Our minds race incessantly and for our thinking not to be out ahead of the words of others requires focus and intentionality.
Sitting with an NYPD police officer the week after the 9/11 terrorist attack, we talked for at least two hours. He finally said, “Well, I’ve got to get back out there.” As he was walking away he turned and said, “You’re an excellent conversationalist.” I had not said three words. He just needed someone to listen.
Being a teacher, my mindset is to convey information, to motivate and even to inspire. It is a continual effort to keep my mouth shut! I must also concentrate to listen without thinking what to say next or simply let my mind wander. Okay, I’ve confessed; it’s your turn.
To monopolize a conversation also shows a lack of respect for others. Others may have input into the discussion and to “take over” shows a high degree of disrespect.
It has also been noticed, when we are really listening, we will retain portions of information. The situation may be a one-on-one conversation or a lecture. To be able to repeat to the speaker a part of what he/she has said shows that person someone has absorbed and processed what was said.
In Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” his first chapter is entitled “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive.”
His final line in that chapter of such an in-depth analogy is, “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” Also stated later in his writings, “Even God doesn’t judge until judgement day.”
To give our undivided attention also includes what not to say. Carnegie was the master of conversation and influence. We would do well to heed his suggestions.
Does God give believers His undivided attention? We may wonder at times why God does not answer our prayers. The forthwith and simple answer is, He knows our needs better than we do.
We must consider what we are asking for. Are our prayers selfish and materialistic? The heathen asks for long life, riches, power and death to his enemies.
Solomon asked God for wisdom (1 Kings 3:9). “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge this thy great people that I may discern between good and bad, for who is able to judge this so great a people.”
One particular verse in The Lord’s Prayer, Matthew 6:11 “Give us this day our daily bread,” commands our attention. Jesus did not teach us to ask excessively but only for basic sustenance, “daily bread.”
Some in Christendom have written their own gospel. Many on social media that tell us if we do or don’t do certain things, we are not Christian. Those statements are judgmental and usually not scripturally accurate, causing confusion about scriptural truth.
John 3:16 states the entire salvation process in one verse and we do not have to jump through their hoops or walk through coals of fire by some self-appointed prophet to have eternal salvation. Simply follow the instructions of Jesus.
We must always teach that eternal salvation is attained by a faith based belief (Ephesians 2:8) in Christ Jesus crucified (Matthew 27:35) for the remission of sin (1 John 1:9) and resurrected (Matthew 28:6).
God is listening! We are to praise Him and give thanks but be careful what you ask for.
Van Yandell is a retired Industrial Arts teacher, an ordained gospel evangelist and missionary.
